Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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