i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
