I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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