He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
