i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
