if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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