Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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