Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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