What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
