Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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