That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
