I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
