Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.

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(949): View more from California

I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.

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(812): View more from Indiana

You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back

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(317): View more from Indiana

Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.

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(734): View more from Michigan

You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...

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(650): View more from California

There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.

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(845): View more from New York

He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?

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