I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
