I want to stick my p in your. b.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
