i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
