Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
