Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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