hotel room ftw
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
he just fucked me for my cheese..
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
