so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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