her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
