My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
