Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
