Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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