I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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