it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
