Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
