There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
