People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize