sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
