it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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