Can Purell be used as lube?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Someone signed my nipple.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
