i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
