After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
