its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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