Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
