Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
