he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
