I love having hate sex.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
