I'm eating all of the evidence.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
