Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
