It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
