The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
