i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
