im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
