we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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