The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
