During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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