i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
