In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
