you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
My orgasm happened in two different decades
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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